Friday, May 17, 2013

Reality Confession

Hello all.

I would first like to apologize for not posting yesterday. I got a bit busy, packing, booking flights, getting ready for my trips I have planned to get away, clear my head and get a change of scenery.

I titled this post "Reality Confession" because I wanted to take the time to personally share with you the emotions and feelings I am currently experiencing during this process of separation and healing of my broken heart.

This week has actually been a good week. I didn't cry none. Today on the other hand, I am experiencing much anxiety. I cried out to God as He reminded me that greater is coming. I trust God, I do. I also have a human nature. My heart and my head are in constant battle right now. I haven't been able to eat for the past two weeks...a could bites here and there. My stomach is in much anguish because of the anxiety. I thank God for the strength to walk away but I also need the strength to stay away. It's tough when your heart is involved. It doesn't just stop loving a person just because they messed up.

I wanted to be honest and share so that you know that you will have these thoughts, you will have a fight between your heart and your head. God is the only one to get us through. It's even tougher because we don't know God's plans and we just have to wait and trust. If anybody knows, I know, that's easy easier said than done.

So, today may not be the best day I have had this week, but I am alive and breathing and I can be honest with God and myself about how I feel and that gives me a small sense of relief. His Grace is definitely going to have to sustain me.

Bright side: I'm waiting to board a flight to St. Louis to go visit a friend, try my very best to enjoy myself and relax my mind from its constant thinking and anxiety. I ask that you keep me in your prayers. Also, feel free to comment on my posts. Hearing positive responses is definitely encouraging.

Don't forget: GREATER IS COMING!

2 comments:

  1. Hey Keya,

    Just wanted to tell you how proud of you I am. I know this time is really hard but I know that you will make it through and come out on the other side in a better place than before. I also thank you for opening up your heart to others with your blog. Your honesty is a blessing to others in the same place. You are such a beautiful and wonderful person...I'm blessed to be able to call you my friend. Keep your head up and I'm always here for you if you need me.

    ReplyDelete
    Replies
    1. Thank you for your encouraging words Monica. I appreciate it very much.

      Delete