When Will It Get Better?

Hello everyone.

I apologize for my absence yesterday. I had no internet access in my location. I've been doing quite a bit of work trying to get better.

I wanted to share today where  my thoughts are currently. A lot of the time people have too much pride to be honest about how they really feel about their current circumstance. They pretend like they have everything together, their not hurt and they are " living their life like it's golden". This people are liars! No, I'm kidding. Maybe that is the case for some. Maybe they aren't affected emotionally by devastating situations. Me, myself, I'm going to be real about how I feel.

Right now, things don't appear golden to me. Even sunny days are dim. I wonder often when will it get better? I feel humiliated, betrayed, lied to, let down, disappointed, used and whatever else that can bring a person down. I know the saying, " what goes around, comes around", people have been telling me this often, I guess to make me feel better but it doesn't. It doesn't change the fact that a person I loved deeply, treated with honesty and respect, cherished as a friend and planned to spend my life with ripped my heart out, tore it to pieces, threw it on the groung, stomped it, spit on it then walked away without looking back. Vivid? Yeah I know.

All I can do now is pray that God repair all that was broken, heal all that was hurt and restore trust, confidence and even my interest in any man. I'm not saying I'm going the other way. I ain't that far gone! This is something I cannot fix. I feel as though I have no control. I don't know when it will all go away and my heart can be happy and free again. I'm in a position where I have to completely rely on God for everything. For my joy, happiness, healing, comfort, security, protection, peace, etc.

Being uncomfortable sucks! It's no fun at all. All I can do is keep my eye on the finish line, be sensitive to all possible detractions and allow God to complete His perfect work in me. It's way easier to type than to do it but I'm determined to have God's best. I was fooled by the devil before and he is going to be sorry for all of this once God exalts me to His place of glory. I'm out for the kill! To break the chain for all women after me or even for the ones suffering right now! I will fulfill my purpose and lead many to victory.

I don't know when it will get better but what I do know is GREATER IS COMING! FOR US ALL! Please keep me in your prayers.