Saturday, August 3, 2013

Open Book: Transparent

Good morning,
Good night,
Good afternoon,

Whatever it may be to you, I pray it is a good one. Here I am again, opening myself up completely to you, my readers and also to myself.

As you all may know by now, I don't mind being transparent for all to see. In my opinion, I'm giving others a chance to learn, experience and derive hope through me. I have had a few of you testify to the latter; hope. It brings me great joy to know that through the sharing of my pain, my attacks and my victories, I am helping someone else. Like I always say and strongly believe, I never go through anything just for myself... It's always for someone else.

So where are you, Nikeya, with this process? How are you handling everything up until now? I'd say I have been doing exceptionally well. God has been doing an excellent job at showing me where I'm headed, reminding me of where He brought me from, what He protected me from and allowing me to love in spite of my hurts; it amazes me! I had no clue I would experience some of the wonderful feelings I am experiencing at the present time.

With that being said, the enemy is still at work. I must admit to you, just because it may feel like he's let up a little, doesn't mean you're in the clear. It only means he went back to the drawing board to come up with a different strategy; a different plan of attack. I find now, since he could not win by attempting to harden my heart and make me bitter, he has now moved on to my trust.

Realizing the person who attempted to marry me, not even three months ago, has moved on rather quickly and begun his new life with his new child's mother has caused me to wonder; was any of it ever real? Are the things anyone ever says to me real? Male or female. Are those people who tell me things or share information with me, are they really doing it because they care or are they purposely trying to hurt me also? I seem to can't help but question everyone's motives now. My trust has been completely betrayed and probably, just like many of you, when your trust is betrayed you begin to keep an eye on everyone around you no matter how close you are or how long you've known the person.

Proverbs 3:5-6 is the scripture that has to guide me right now. The scripture tells me to trust in the Lord with ALL my heart and lean not on my own understanding; in ALL my ways acknowledge Him and He will direct my paths. I place an emphasis on ALL because the word is said twice and it appears to stick out to me. It makes me feel like, right now, it is OK for me to feel the way I do towards human beings, the people around me because ALL of my trust needs to be in the Lord. He's the only One who is always constant. He will never leave me nor forsake me. He keeps His promises. His word never returns to Him void. I'm more than grateful for who He is and who He has been in my life. He continues to walk with me, moving me forward and opening countless doors!

So, I said all of that to say, not all feelings we feel during our process are bad. We just need to recognize them, know what the word says and know what to do with them. Don't freely hand them over to the enemy to manipulate and distort. EVERYONE IS NOT OUT TO GET YOU (I'm speaking to myself also). Give it ALL to God and let Him complete His perfect work. I am progressing wonderfully, better than I thought I would in the beginning, but I have to let Him complete the work. I cannot stop it prematurely just because I feel good. I'm still claiming that my Greater is here. I also need to be whole to experience my Greater to the fullest! Let the work continue! Don't lose hope. Your GREATER IS COMING!