Saturday, December 28, 2013

Never Look Back!

Hi all!

I would first like to start off by apologizing for my failure to keep up with my commitment to write daily. I will try to do better.

Nonetheless, God has continued to do great things! As this year comes to a close, I can't help but recap the events that have occurred in 2013. This has brought some good and not so good thoughts about. There has definitely been some major changes in my life this year, some of my own volition and some not.

So let's recap: I began the new year celebrating at church with my, then, boyfriend and his amazing 9 years old son. On April 4th, my boyfriend of 2 years asked me to marry him! I was elated despite some small reservations that I was more than willing to overlook due to love. On May 5th, I discovered my fiancé had gotten a woman, whom he had been seeing in his work office for the past few years behind my back and lying to my face every day of our relationship, pregnant. I ended the engagement and relationship overall. I spent my summer hurting from the disappointment, betrayal and utter embarrassment. I cried out to God and gave Him my broken heart. I shared my experiences through my healing process in my blog posts and I have been blessed by the great impact my testimony and sharing has had on other people's lives and situations. I truly am honored to be the vessel God has chosen to help so many others. The pain drove me straight into His arms, where I found safety, true love, acceptance, comfort and so much more. I truly believe that God loves me too much to ever allow me to be a part of something that will cause me nothing but misery and strife. I also believe with all my heart that I am His baby and that vengeance belongs to Him. I feel sorry for the wrongdoers and those who failed to see God's hand on my life and decided to treat me carelessly. All I can do is pray that God has mercy on them.

As my hurt subsided and I began to really see the blessing in the situation, God brought someone into my life who has begun to show me what it really means to love, honor and cherish a precious woman of God. I have never felt so treasured and adored. Still, taking things slow and keeping everything before God, I am enjoying the love that I have been receiving and I am grateful that my heart was not hardened due to the foolishness of the previous guy who was blind to what God placed in front of Him.

Side note: There is nothing wrong with knowing your worth and being confident in it. Don't let anyone make you feel bad about who you are, who God created you to be, and the standards you hold! You were fearfully and WONDERFULLY made! Walk in your TRUE identity and if a person cannot accept that, then you don't need that person. Be YOU!

The way I deal with my painful life situations is through worship to God. It's the way I get out all of my tears and frustrations. I honor the Lord for His hand on my life and I know He has great plans for me. With that being said, my worship has gone to a new level this year! I have always known that God has called me to be a leader of worship. He has begun developing my gift of worship as I have been asked by my wonderful church, Family Worship Center Church-Flint, to lead worship service more! As exciting as it sounds, I recognize it is a great responsibility and my prayer is that others can release all of their hurt through their worship like I do and that they will experience a true encounter with the Lord like I do! All I ever want is for God to meet us right in the midst of our worship! I am excited that God is beginning to do just that through my worship and 2014 is about to be the breakout year!

Last but not least, I continue to move forward even in my career endeavors. I have been praying for the past year or so about my job. It  had begun to get very stressful and I know it is not what God had for me for the rest of my life. This December I was offered a new job! And to top it all off, the job is in the city that I have always said I would love to live in!!! I am very excited about the change. I will be starting the job in January! So, as you can see...God has been doing some GREAT things! I told you that Greater was coming!

You can imagine that I have had some exciting things going on theses last few months of the year. I had a great birthday in September and I have had nonstop happiness and continual joy, with some occasional lows of course. But my lowest low came when I decided to take a look back at that which I had walked away from. Now, I should let you know if you don't know already, there will come a time that you get curious about what's going on with your old news guy/girl. Who doesn't? It's natural. What you may find may not always be what you need. I would say, 100% of the time, it's never what you need. My decision to take a look back, which is very easy to do with the advancements of technology, was not one of my wisest moments. Initially, it was a test of how far I had come and quite frankly I was very proud of myself at first because the effect was not negative at all. I felt nothing. Sometimes though, we can go a little further into things than we need to and find things we really should not have. That's when the thoughts began to roll back in, constantly. Thoughts of all of the lies, what was a lie and what was the truth, did the person really ever even love me, what is so great about this other person that they are publicly with and have now made a complete "Brady Bunch" family with now? I would say I am a great catch and have way more to offer than the other...etc.

ATTENTION: LOOKING BACK IS A BIG MISTAKE!!!

My advice, leave them and all that involves them where they are...behind you! Keep looking forward. Be sure to let those who love you, friends or anyone who may know the person you left in your past just that. They are in your past and you want nothing more to do with them. You don't want to know any news about them, good or bad! What good is it going to do you to know what is going on in their lives? Whether you hear that they are doing horribly, their life is falling apart or that they are happier than ever...neither piece of information is going to benefit you one way or the other. Yes, you may get some sense of pleasure to know that they are unhappy and things have fallen apart since you left but is it prospering you any? No. Is it making you a better person or advancing you in life? No. Keep your focus on things ahead of you. Keep your eye on the great things God has for you ahead and He will deal with them. He removed them from your life for a reason so don't try to bring them back in any way, shape or form. Disconnect completely! As hard as it may be, it has to be done. I, for one, know it is hard. It's really hard when you have connected with children. All you can do is cover the kids in prayer as well.

God has so many great things in store for you. Don't stifle yourself because you can't seem to keep your focus ahead of you. You cannot drive forward if you keep your eyes in the rearview mirror! You're just going to crash and burn. I would say that I had a slight fender bender but I am back on the road again with my eyes straight ahead and I can see my destination as I get closer and closer to it!

Leave everything that happened to you that impacted your life in negative way in 2013. Don't take it with you. Let it all disappear with the year. That's what I plan to do. It may be that I have to let some other people go who will constantly try to bring the dead back to life, and you may have to also but it is time to think about YOU. Think about your progress! I'm moving forward! Are you?

GREATER IS COMING! KEEP YOUR EYES FOCUSED AHEAD!

HAPPY NEW YEAR TO YOU! I can't wait to hear how God blesses your 2014! Please, share with me your great things! Let me praise with you! I am praising for you in advance! Chase your Greater!